Mini-Review Merriment: Rest in Peace III: The Last Hero.

A departure from the norm.

"C'mon Unca Scrooge- if you won't buy it, I'll have to write... ."

Dear Santa, I've been as good as I can be this year, what with all the Demon-slaying and such. Why, I've not killed a single human except for collaborators keeping congress with the Demons. Times are tough out here on the battlefield and our defenses are wearing down, so if you see fit to ride your "slay" out to the front-lines, we can all use a little X-mas cheer. So, I'd like: A new Canon Bunker, A Pony (for Jane, really!) A brand-new X77 "DemonStomp" Combat Rifle, and A regular 'ol UZI (a used one if you have 'ta). We've no tree this year and our stockings have holes, but I'll leave some hardtack and a cup of whiskey for your troubles. Thanks, Timmy Black

***

"Eggnog for you son? No? How about that top-down shooter you've been anticipating? Yeah... that's the one... RIP 3: The Last Hero. What is it about... ? You're right, that David fella didn't say too much in his preview of the game and the review is yet to be written, so-"

"Mmmmfffff!"

"Sound? I did'nt hear-"

"Mmmmrrrfff! Nnnnnettt rrreeee aarrrrtt ffffff eree!!"

"Oh, that sound in the back of my sliegh? In the gift bag? Well, give me a hand... there, on three and LIFT aaaand down!"

"MMMMRRRFFFF! AT UURRTSS!"

"Gimme a hand here Timmy... on three...! Well, what do you know, its that- well, your that David writer! Merry X-mas David!"

"Rell o rource sss eee..."

"Here son, let me help you with that tape..."

"Ow, that *%^@#*# hurts!!!"

"Sorry son, but now that you've that tape off your mouth why don't you tell Timmy here about his present, 'kay?"

"Tim is it? Well this over-stuffed toymaker here, OUCH!"

"Sorry son, it's slippery in this snow here."

"Uh, this kindly toymaker brought me to these parts to give you the low-down on RIP 3: The Last Hero. Like the previous two titles in the RIP series, R3 is a top-down shooter that will place your profile character in the midst of danger amongst the minions of Hell - Ouch!"

"Language son."

"...Demons and such. Again, your character of choice can wade through the killing-fields on foot, in stationary bunkers, or in various modes of locomotion."

"He means vehicles son. Writers... . Timmy, wipe that tear off of your face and blow your nose. You don't need to worry about a game-re-tread with this RIP 3."

"He's right. The Elves over at White-Elephant have come up with some new features and innovations for this title."

"So tell him more, lest I need to warm-up my snow-kicking boots!"

"Right. RIP 3 brings back your three magical heros; Death, Rock-n-Roll, and Halloween. However, this time around brings three new characters for a total of 6 characters to choose from. There's a commando of sorts by the name of Jane. A grizzled war-hero, Captain Black (isn't he your dad Timmy?), and a state-of-the-art Cyborg named Fobos. While each character has different strengths and weaknesses, you could play through the campaign mode 6 times, honing your skills with each."

"Nice job writer. Talk. More."

"Right. This time around it seems White Elephant listened to player requests as well as exploring new gameplay territory. Again, you've got three modes of play for your demon-blasting pleasure. As with previous incarnations, there is the campaign mode which boasts over 90 relentless levels of of fighting the oppressors of mankind as well as their bosses. The campaign mode involves taking the battle from country roads to big-city streets and beyond."

"Beyond what?"

"Beyond beyond. Like, not the earth and more like oute- *OUCH*!!"

"Hush! Can't give it all away writer."

"Oh... well then, can you like stop with the boots and the kicking thing?"

"Never. Now be a good present and tell Timmy more."

"Well, it's a well known fact that playing video games can make one a bit isolated, so RIP 3 has incorporated both a multiplayer mode and a hotseat mode. While multiplayer mode speaks for itself, the hotseat mode places you and another player back-to-back, covering each-others back, whilst slaying the evil-doers. In short, the action is relentless so save your nap for when you are done playing."

"More?"

"Not the boot...! Uh, yeah, sure. If you were a fan of the first incarnation or two, well, here you go again with some new experiences in the RIP universe. I'm thinking that if you're totally unfamiliar with the RIP series and are in the mood for a loud and violent shooter, this game will provide that experience. Speaking as a reviewer of games and not a kidnapped writer-" *COUGH* *COUGH* "- White Elephant has done a fine job adding enough new elements to this third installment to keep the game fun. Few indie developers take the course of creating multiple sequels to a game in the form of ongoing chapters. If the RIP series of games has served as a test-bed for development of storyline content and player options, it makes me wonder what this indie developer has in store for the gaming community... *OUCH*!!!"

"You're not here to speculate! Back in the bag!"

"MMMmmrrrffff!"

********************************************

Well, that was real different. So, I think you get the idea. This has been a short review of White Elephant Games latest title, "RIP 3: The Last Hero", which has just been released. A full-review will be published down the road, but for now, well- 'nuff said.

Whatever your nationality, whatever your beliefs, I hope 2006 has been a good year, and may 2007 be just as grand!

Peace.